reaching

have you ever felt as though you work as hard as you can, put forth all you have, and do your very best, yet the goals you strive for remain just out of reach? i find myself at that specific point in nearly every area of my life and it just might send me over the edge.

i recently spent 3 days in knoxville, tennessee and i'm afraid a large part of my heart remained there. i went down to graduate. i had no family there (other than my graduating sister), but the friends that i was able to share the event with are absolutely some of the most important people in my life. i've missed them greatly and i didn't even realize just how much.

my sister gets married one month from today. june 21st, she'll walk down that aisle and say "i do" to one of the greatest men i've ever met. two weeks later, they'll move to puerto rico where they'll live a paradise life and teach children. and she's counting down the days until she can get out of here.

a couple days ago, i found out that instead of teaching 1st grade next year, i'll be teaching 3rd. obviously, there are pros and cons to all situations. i think this will be a good fit for me. so, this summer, i start over again.

i want to buy a house more than i want to do anything else in my life right now. it's the scariest thing i've ever considered doing and it makes me feel like i'm way out of my league to even attempt it on my own. it's a bittersweet process for me; the idea of being completely independent is exhilirating...yet, this is one of those things i never dreamed i would be doing by myself. i always pictured myself sharing this experience with...someone.

well, it's back to the grind now. this time of year is incredibly busy for school-people. so many grades to finish up, textbooks to account for, and most importantly, children to enjoy for just a few more short weeks. i can honestly say that i will miss seeing them on a daily basis. they bring me joy every day. regardless of all the politics and the drama and the nonsense that goes on in the "grown-up world," i know that as soon as the first 7-year-old walks through the door at 745am with a "good morning, miss maple!" and a smile on his/her face, i am right where i should be. i am doing what i was made to do and i couldn't ask for a more rewarding profession. throughout the frustration and the sweat and tears, at the end of the day, i would not trade this for anything.

there's the nutshell.